I Found a Dead Body Today

I found my elderly neighbour dead in his living-room this morning. When I say I found him, that’s not entirely true because it was Warren who had ten minutes previously discovered Robin and had rung our doorbell to use the phone. Warren seemed in shock so I very sensitively volunteered to take over and deal with the situation. The emergency services wanted me to go into Robin’s flat, phone them from there to confirm some details. So this is exactly how I found myself for the first time in my 56 years on this earth face to face with a human corpse. For those who have been to many a wake or worked with the elderly, fatally injured in accidents or terminally ill in hospital are justifiably entitled to think, you’ve led a sheltered life, welcome to my world!
Robin had probably died the night before whilst recovering from a long stressful car journey returning from spending Christmas with his son. It looked like he was getting ready for bed when he suffered a fatal heart attack. He was partially undressed, his face had turned purplish blue, his eyes were wide open and the indignity of his position for such a proud bon-viveur gentleman was what struck me most. Except for those first dutiful inspections of Robin’s corpse, I found it hard to look in his direction while I waited for the ambulance service to arrive. My emotions were of no great sadness, upset or physical queasiness (Robin had survived cancer surgery and endured severe respiratory and heart problems) just enormous respect and reverence to be present at an extinguished life. I have to admit that in sensitively volunteering to witnessing Robin’s demise, I had probably seized an opportunity to finally confront such an ordeal.
The paramedics took over and they with the police went through all the procedural paperwork and protocol with their usual considerable professional efficiency. Warren was questioned for the details needed. I made tea and my thoughts, rather less selflessly, turned increasingly to the afternoon’s football programme, as my use and need to the proceedings diminished.
You see when I was in my early twenties, I witnessed my own father’s gradual and painful demise over a difficult month but missed the merciful final passing. I only have had the memory of the frenzied panic as he grasped the oxygen mask to steal a breath that his lungs couldn’t manage to supply and that orange liquid that I felt obliged to encourage him to take that the medical staff briefed us was the only sustenance his body would not fully reject. Even the psoriasis that had blighted him all his life had departed his skull and joints, no longer being able to be hosted by his skeletal frame.
I expect no more of others who will later find me. Cart me off and waste no further time in getting on with the rest of your remaining days. I have after all, like Robin, had a great life for which I’m grateful.
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I Found a Dead Body Today

December 30, 2013