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A few years ago I was at a ‘Big Noise’ Coldplay concert at Exeter Castle held in aid of Mencap. Dubbed as the homecoming gig and hosted by Jo Whiley, the Radio 1 broadcaster and music journalist, a small lucky audience enjoyed a fantastic night. I was standing next to the presenter for a very brief time and watched how patiently and generously she posed for photos with fans. She struck me as a very warm unpretentious lady, a feeling confirmed a little later when she appeared with sister Francis in a memorable touching moment to introduce the supergroup.
I couldn’t have been the only person that night to have watched ‘Never Mind the Buzzcocks’ Dr Who Special three days earlier and listened to Jo Whiley give a different summation of Coldplay’s talents.
Remind you of being back at school? Well – I suppose if I could earn the type of appearance fees got by appearing on NMTB, HIGNFY and such like, I might default to such scathing congruous behaviour. Historically, the presenters of these two programmes, for example, Simon Amstell, Mark Lamarr, Angus Deayton aided by the likes of Phil Jupitus, Iain Hislop and sadly Bill Bailey for a long while, used to assume the roles of provateurs to generate levity from making targeted guests feel uncomfortable. I think the basic justifications are they know what they’re letting themselves in for and getting good money for it. After all, it’s like sitting in the front row at a comedy gig, you’re asking for it. There are numerous celebrities on Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton who are more deserving of such honesty, instead of the usual sycophantic endorsement, but are sadly sacrosanct. Sir Elton, Sir Terry, Sir Brucie, Sir Cliff, Cher, Arnie, Sly…,Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus, One Direction, Justin Bieber….and other smiley beautiful people who have brilliantly uniform perfect teeth, but of course, this is tellyland.
There is however a profession that for pure sociopathic behaviour can eclipse the red carpet brigade and that is journalism. I have two first hand accounts of hard-nosed hacks getting the copy at all costs. Firstly there’s the television crew that visited my wife’s primary school to report on the effect of the impending Iraqi conflict on children with dads serving at the nearby military base. The school’s courageous headmistress, noticing as the day went on that they were going past their remit and trying to get a story that just wasn’t there, – tears on the carpet – , chucked them out at lunchtime. That news team were from the BBC flagship ‘Newsnight’! And secondly the treatment that Joe Church received at the hands of the Daily Express in 1970. when I was 13 and a stage-hand at a seaside summer show of which Joe was the main stand-up comedian. Joe Church was visited by a reporter and photographer doing a feature on the typical ‘end of the pier’ variety show that was popular in those times. The publicity would be very welcome and they spent all day with him. Nobody could have predicted the malevolence of the double page spread article that came out.. He had been duped, cruelly set-up with a photograph of him wearing a red nose and depicted as the sad out of date clown by quoting lines from his act. His fellow entertainers rallied round but you could tell he was a broken man. Humiliated. It left a lasting impression on a young boy how people could be so predatory and vindictive especially to someone who didn’t ask for it or deserve it.
Same with Chris Martin – What do you think, Jo?
A Monkey in Manhattan 