“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. I fall asleep counting my blessings.”

I’m very proud to have been a teacher. I was not born to sell washing machines and feel privileged to having spent a career helping people and being part of their lives. It’s a huge honour. When mention is made of people serving their country, an accolade notably reserved for the armed forces and politicians, we should also naturally think of NHS staff, social workers, teachers, the police and all people in our communities that make our society a better place to live. With people involved in the military, the ‘service’ tag is fully justified but generally politicians exist to serve their own interests.

I have been nervous for quite some time to what it will feel like to be retired. My job has always been very important to me and it will leave quite a hole in my life that I will need to fill. It’s like you have been anchored safely in a harbour (fitting as we live in a place called Lee!) and now I’m setting sail again and having to turn my attention to some important decisions. It’s a fantastic opportunity but you have to be brave. There’s a requirement to continually look to new challenges and my worries of acclimatising to a decreased income are eased when I think of where Romy and I  have come from. As Bing sings, “When my bankroll is getting small, I think of when I had none at all.”

Thinking positively is an essential life-skill and has helped me to appreciate that I’ve had a good life with no regrets. The rewards of ‘counting your blessings’ when you feel low has never so better been illustrated for me than when dealing with the my present condition of experiencing continual hissing/ringing in the ears, i.e tinnitus. This ailment suddenly came on a few days ago when after listening to some music through some headphones, I couldn’t get to sleep due to this inner noise. The jury is still out whether I am suffering from a temporary block of the Eustachian tube due to a cold, virus or allergy or through more permanent ageing to the small hairs inside the middle of my historically shit ears. The permanent latter seems the more likely.

My initial reaction of panic to this possible irreversible end to absolute serenity and peace has been alleviated in three ways. Firstly by considering those who are considerably worse off by having to endure interminable pain and whose lives are immeasurably less blessed than mine. Secondly by using a fantastic website called White Noise & Co which allows you to create your own bespoke masking white noise that matches your tinnitus and ‘exteriorises’ it in Dolby fashion. This has meant that it is possible to escape the condition. And lastly and more importantly by the wonderful reassuring support of my lovely wife who is my strength and most trusted friend, advisor and confidante.

Counting my Blessings

July 30, 2015